Evidence That I Might Be A God

I was reading the pets section on Craigslist, and I clicked on an ad for several birds that apparently "have some talk to them." Whatever. "Sick, I hate birds," I thought. "I would bite the heads off those birds before I would adopt them." About a minute later, a bird plummeted straight down in front of my window. Terrifying! I have not decided how to use this new-found power, but be aware that Jason Segel is safe and the jury is still out on you.