I think hipsters annoy me because when I was in sixth grade, I wore flannel unironically all the time. It won me no favors. Once I wore a flannel shirt to a middle school dance. I was skulking around near the boy I liked for about an hour, when finally his friend approached me. This is it! I thought. The road to prom queen begins here! He looked at me pityingly and said, "Steve says he'll pay you five dollars not to dance with him." CURSE YOU, FLANNEL, I thought. NEVER AGAIN.