Lord of the Rings Thoughts

1. Sadly I have never read the books. I really don't feel that bad about this. My dad has been trying to make me for the last 22 years, without success. Maybe because once I said to him, "Man, it's pretty cool that Tolkien made up a whole language for the elves!" and he said, "He didn't make it up" and I said, "Huh? Well then where did he get it?" and he said, "From the elves." Okay.

2. You know when Elrond is all, "Hey Arwen, you have to choose: either you come with us to the undying lands, or you stay with Aragorn and watch him die and then linger in shadow and in doubt forever." Except doesn't she just become mortal? Isn't that the highly preferable third choice? I guess you didn't think of that, HUH ELROND. Elves suck.

3. My boyfriend says, "I love the part where theoden is like. So much hate! What can one do against such hate? And aragorn is like ride w me. Cuz gandalf is coming with a horse army. Except he doesn't mention the horse army part so theoden just assumes he's suiciding. But he's still like, ok whatev." He should work for SparkNotes. Theoden should work for effing ... Badasses Incorporated.

4. Theoden and Gandalf riding out to Nelly's Ride With Me. Has it been done. If not, why not