Games Invented By Me At Age Nine That You Should Use At Parties, Part Two

Racially Problematic Sexual Tension, The Game

Requires: two people, a weird power dynamic
Instructions: Identify the person in your life who is nine-year-old Rachel Fields. She is the one who tries to coerce you into doing things that make you uncomfortable. Get into her bed. Listen while she tells you that she is your Indian chief and you are her Indian squaw. Hug. When your mother asks you what you were doing upstairs, say, "We were hugging - ", only to be cut off by Rachel saying, "WE WERE PLAYING WITH DOLLS WE WERE DOING NOTHING."